Friday, November 6, 2009

Lessons in Love

It's all about sequencing in this first BCIT short-film starring the boys of the 5YC. Despite a strong on-camera romance between Chad and Jessica Hyatt, the two have gone their separate ways since filming. Chad still insists that the Black-T is more than sufficient dating attire. Joe continues to run drop-in dating clinics and is currently working on developing his lesson to include a broader range of topics consisting of "So You Dumped Her But Want Her Back" and "The 26: Preparing Properly".

Starring: Jessica Hyatt, Natalie Langston, and the 5YC.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

27...Must feel like Heaven

As I watch the Evil Empire put the polishing touches on their 27th World Championship and await another legendary final out call from Joe Buck, I can only think of one four-letter word.

No, not that one.

This one.


When will it be our turn?
When will a team that I follow be called Champions?
When will things even out for F%&*s sake?

I’m not taking anything away from the New York Yankees or their fans. They deserved it this year more than any other club in the majors. Derek Jeter has to be considered one of the best leaders to ever play competitive sports. His girl is also unbelievably hot.

But for once, can a team that I call my own do the unthinkable and win it all.

Just once.

And no, my Flag Football Intramural team doesn’t count.

The Seattle Seahawks and Seattle Mariners have never done it. My two teams south of the border have both given me a glimmer of hope at times (see the 2006 Super Bowl and the 2001 MLB Season as prime examples) but both teams crushed my heart when it mattered most. Thanks Jeremy Stevens, you’re awesome!

And don’t even get me started on my true love. It has been nothing but heartbreak during my 23 years of cheering for the Vancouver Canucks.  Year-after-year I convince myself that this is the year where it all comes together. The year where everything falls into place and the Canucks go all the way to the Stanley Cup Finals.

Yet, when it comes to June, the Nuckers never seem to be playing hockey down on Arthur Griffiths Drive. Instead, they usually can be found across town playing golf on the links of Marine Drive.

But I suck it up every June and tell myself that patience is a virtue. Just wait till next season. Will get 'em. Just watch.

So, as I Watch A-Rod yell “Were going to party tonight New York,” I think to myself if it happened for that loser, it has to eventually happen for all of us, right?

I just hope it’s when.

Not if.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

PODCAST #3.5, "The Mash Up" November 2nd, 2009

5YC looks to go outside of the playbook for for Podcast #3.5, "The Mash Up".


Monday, November 2, 2009

"How do I live without you"

The fat has been cut on the Score's "Drafted" broadcaster search and only five contestants remain. The boys from the 5YC have their money firmly behind Barrie's, Andy McIsaac. His first test from the Scores Gerry Dee was to take to the street and interview some "Streeters." Mr. Dee, like always, steals the segment but our boy Andy does more than hold his own. To watch - CLICK HERE.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

60 Minutes of Thoughts

"60 Minutes of Thoughts" is a new segment from SFU Broadcast Network host, Joe Perkins. For more information CLICK HERE.

Saturday, October 31, 2009


After personal reasons caused the 5YC boys to pull podcast #2, the boys headed back into the studio Friday with redemption on their minds. After countless meetings and brainstorming sessions, Chad and Joe decided to get back to basics and go with what's always worked...wingin' it.

No script, no plans.

Put 35 minutes on the clock. It's time for the 5 Yard Curl.

Click the header to open the Podcast.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Ten thoughts from a night on the couch

10. This whole weight-gaining thing is slightly more challenging than I thought it would be. I mean, I’m really trying everything over here. I’m discovering eating massive portions is not for the faint of heart. My stomach is like seriously confused. I gave the belly a little after school snack when I got home from school. I devoured two slices of bumbleberry pie, with ice cream of course, a bag of bagel chips and a bowl of pasta with meatballs. I bounced back down to the kitchen at 7, just before puck drop between the Canucks and Wings. Decided to fire up a little appy, consisting of a bag of Lays and some leftover butter chicken with some authentic Indian flat bread. I’m seriously lucky I’m doing this challenge with access to the rentals fridge. I don’t think I could afford to eat this much food on my current salary…..ya who am I kidding, I don’t have a salary. Anyways, by the time dinner came around after the 2nd period my stomach was screaming for mercy. I felt like that spaghetti dude from Seven that dies from gluttony. Just couldn’t possibly fit any more chow in my gut. Must keep eating though. Must meet Dutchy, Pierre McGuire and Jenny Hedger. Must beat Perkins.

9. The NBA ON TNT…YEESSS…IT’S THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS AGAINST THE BOSTON CELTICS. Ohh how I missed you Marv Albert. I’m the first to admit that I have a legit man crush on that guy’s voice. I didn’t miss the NBA over the summer however. Just can’t invest myself in a league where the players take weeks, if not months off at a time. Wake me up when Lebron and Shaq meet Kobe and Ron in the Finals. However, tonight’s Cavs game has allowed me to confirm what a lot of us have been thinking for a while. Zydrunas Ilgauskas is from Uranus. (I had written Mars originally, but I felt that my friend RJ would like this post more if I wrote Uranus)

8. Big fan of Gerry Dee. I think he’s approaching Cabbie level in terms of humorous sportscasters. The Wisers Whisky commercial that he stars in is pure gold. The sweater rip, the facial expressions, the slow clap. Amazing. I have no idea what Wisers tastes like, probably just like every other rum and coke I sip on at the bar, but they have my allegiance next time I purchase whisky. And it’s all because of you Mr. Dee.

7. Count me in as someone who’s also a big fan of Chris Osgood. The guy just knows how to win. Look no further than the three rings on his fingers for the evidence. He doesn’t have the best form, size or stats, but I’d take him as my starting goa……Wow, that was a weak goal Osgood just let in to start the game….but back to what I was saying. Osgood shows up for big games and his team has so much confide……NO way, that puck actually just went under Osgood’s pad? Did it really? WOW…He’s being yanked after seven minutes and four shots on goal. Mark Donnelly was on the ice longer than Osgood tonight. However, Osgood is still a lock on my 2010 Team Canada squad. Him and Bert.

6. We get a close up of my boy Shane O’Brien. God, that guy is ugly. Looks kind of like Perkins actually. Especially in HD.

Yes, Big C is getting the HD T.V. tonight. Got to love Tuesdays and the Tuesday night Burnaby school board meetings, and the Tuesday night book club gatherings that occupy the parents. Let me tell you, there is nothing better than a heritage home all to yourself when you own absolutely nothing inside of it.

5. Scary moment for anybody whose ever played hockey as Ryan Johnson goes headfirst into the end boards. The one thing that was admirable about the whole thing is Brad May coming to the rescue. Almost immediately after Johnson goes down May’s flippers are off and he’s trying to help out. Now Brad I’m a huge fan of yours, and that was a very classy act, but what were you planning on doing out there with your gloves off? I could be mistaken but I don’t think you have any experience in dealing with neck injuries or concussions.

4. Just ate some popcorn. It’s that crappy bullshit pre-made popcorn though. That fake organic Smart Food crap that comes in the big chips bag. I had to settle for the rubber flavoured, garbage tasting stuff because I am currently on microwavable popcorn probation at my house. It’s truly devastating.


Well, two weeks ago I was watching a T.V. show downstairs and threw in some extra butter popcorn in the microwave. But unfortunately I didn’t look to see that it was one of those smaller, snack size bags. You know, the ones that people eat when they are on diets. Like big people trying to lose weight kind of deal.

Anyways, I threw the snack size bag on for the standard three minutes than rolled back down to my cave. Big mistake! I mean big.

I rolled back up only to have both fire alarms sounding and my whole kitchen hot-boxed with thick burnt popcorn smoke. My kitchen now has a permanently burnt popcorn aroma to it. I tried to justify it to my mom by saying I was doing the family a favour by breaking in the new microwave; kind of like you would do with a new baseball glove or fresh pair of kicks. I believe I said I was “giving it some character.” She strongly thought otherwise and laid down the indefinite suspension on microwave usage. And you thought Colin Campbell was tough on infractions.  For the record, I am 23 and I did successfully live on my own in Victoria for five years. Thank you roommates.

3. Ryan Kesler nearly scores the goal of the year (6:35 mark) for the Canucks. I’d do my best play-by-play attempt of the gorgeous rush by Kez but I’ve just started this whole play-by-play thing and I think CIS Women’s hockey players move slightly slower than Kesler. Just an observation, I could be wrong. Regardless, I hate great plays that don’t end up being great goals. It goes for any sport. You know, when a player makes the most amazing play in the world, only to drop the ball in the end zone or miss the wide-open dunk. Everything just goes to waste. I think there needs to be a Sports Center Top Ten of Almost Plays. Something along the line of the best plays that never made the highlights because they were never finished off. However, I guess they wouldn’t really be great plays if they weren’t finished off, would they? I’m confusing myself, but one thing I’m not confused about is TSN needs these weird ideas from me. What they don’t need is another Michael Buble lover from B.C. that spends his spare time between classes talking with girls about the Bachelor. No joke guys, Perkins is like a Bachelor-pedia.

2. The Canucks are unable to score late and fall 5-4 to the Wings. Great game though. Loved the crazy third period. In terms of entertainment, I’ll always take the 5-4 regular season loss to the Wings over a 1-0 snoozing win over the Wild. Also loving the play from the rookie Grabner. I love Euros. Just can’t get enough of the under-producing Euro. I loved Grabs even before he was putting up the numbers. Don’t know why, but if the Canucks have a prospect and he’s Euro, and the media rips him constantly for being inconsistent, he’s a favorite of mine. I just feel like I can relate.

1. Finally, let us compare nights.

• BIG C- A nice, romantic night with the TV; ate tons of food, had some laughs and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

• PERKINS – Hit the elliptical trainer for 40 minutes, got laughed at by community center girls after it took him 20 minutes to figure out how a treadmill worked, went home and ate some carrots.

I may be the underdog and I may not win. But I’m going to have a hell of a lot more fun trying to win than he is.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I Like it Like That

The Ovechkin/Crosby debate will never go away and as much as we love to watch OVY cutting it close, rocking in the club, plugging Eastern Motors, and playing frontman for the newest Washington group "Ovie and the Caps", it just doesn't compare to our Canadian counterpart: Sydney, "Juvenile" Crosby.

You can have the Russian. I'm taking the Kid.

He got me with one song.

Did this happen at Richmond Center?

For those of you that don't read SI Hot Clicks religiously like myself, I bring your attention to this gem from YouTube.

I think someone mixed up the old gas pedal from the brake pedal.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Leaving CBS to do my trash talking

I couldn't have said it any better myself Steve Hartman. I should hire you as my full-time promoter during this weight exchange.

Ladies and gents, the story of Joe Perkins and Chandler Grieve in animal form.

Sunday, October 25, 2009


There's no underlying jokes and no hidden secrets. For once the title says it all.

In Podcast #2, the 5YC shocked the world with perhaps the biggest face-off since David and Goliath, or better yet, Travolta and Cage. For those of you that haven't had an opportunity to listen to the Podcast we've provided a brief run-down of the the challenge, what's at stake, and the journey the boys of the curl, for better or worse, are about to meet head on.

Synopsis: Chad and Joe share many common characteristics. They don't however, share similar weights. Joe's always been hefty and Chad's always been gawky. That's about to change. From now until December 31st the two will attempt to pass the pounds onto their counterpart. With the goal being 195 lbs. Joe will be trying to shed while Chad will be constantly well-fed. On the last day of the year the two will step back on the scales and see who will be taking home the title and who will be giving up the opportunity of a lifetime.

The Prize: At the end of every year the students of BCIT's Broadcast Journalism begin applying for their internships. Each year, a little known sports network known as "TSN" holds two positions for BCIT students. Chad and Joe have both dreamed of applying for this internship. The dream for one 5YC member is about to vanish. The person who has the greatest weight change towards the 195 lbs. goal will be crowned champion and can immediately begin the TSN application process. The loser will not be able to apply. He'll rip up his internship application and forever wish he had tried just a little bit harder. To think, if he had just gone for one more run, or had one more Big Mac, it could have been his.

Contestant #1:

Name: Chad Grieve
Starting Weight: 160 lbs.
Favorite Food: Beef Redondo
Hardest Challenge to Date: Getting his weight to triple digits
Self-Projected Finish Weight: "I'll gain a couple pounds...but so will Joe"

Contestant #2

Name: Joe Perkins
Starting Weight: 228 lbs.
Favorite Food: Cookie Dough
Hardest Challenge to Date: Writing the word diet
Self-Projected Finish Weight: 204 lbs.

Get Involved: As mentioned on Podcast #2, the 5YC is looking to give away two tickets to an upcoming Vancouver Canucks Regular Season game. To win, sign up to be a fan on the 5YC Facebook Page. Haven't yet? Click here. Once you've become a fan, write a post on the wall. Include two things: 1.) Who you think will win the challenge, and 2.) What their final weight weight will be. On December 31st, once the final weights have been calculated we will take every post and see who was closest to predicting the outcome. That person will win the two tickets for a game in the new year. Make Note: You must be a fan of the page to win and you must get your post up before December 1st.

Continue to stay tuned into the blog, Facebook, and Twitter for updates from both Chad and Joe.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Can you guess which one is Steve Strickers wife?

The two greatest athletes of all time (sorry Wayne but it's true) lined up on the same team in the same sport a couple of weekends ago. One was playing lights out golf, going a perfect 5-0 in his matches. The other one was chomping on a cigar and pretending that his role as Assistant Captain/Adviser actually had an impact in helping the American team capture the Presidents Cup. Last time I checked, Michael Jordan is not Butch Harmon.

Regardless, it was a chance for His Airness to help people forget about his controversial Hall of Fame speech and showcase his new girl to the world.

The verdict? Well,  she definitely is a certified babe, and alongside Mrs. 10 outta 10 Elin Woods the two made quite the impression at the event.  Could you imagine being a fly on the wall at one of their double dates? Yes, please.

And judging by the this picture, I bet a few of the other American and International Players
were just a tiny bit jealous of the two.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Crouch, Touch...Ask Questions?

As most of you people probably know, I’ve never really experienced a rugby scrum. My short stint with the sport saw me standing alone on the wing, praying the ball didn't come near me, or worse yet, near the opposing team's winger forcing me to do that thing.  What do they call it?  Tackle?

Its been almost ten years since my hall of fame rugby career and I haven’t given much thought to scrums in quite some time.  That is until recently, when the fear of scrums has popped up again in my life.

No, it’s not the rugby scrum that has me shaking in my boots this time. Rather, the tough, grueling and physically demanding requirements of the media scrum.

Before you laugh, media scrums are a bit more challenging than one would think.

Picture this.  You are brand new to the reporter scene. A total nobody with little to no respect from anyone. In an egotistical industry you are simply an ant, standing in the way between the savvy media veteran and their story that’s due in an hour.

This past Saturday I worked the sidelines for CITR sports at the 32nd playing of the Shrum Bowl.  What is CITR? Better yet, what the heck is a Shrum Bowl? 

Don’t worry about it. Just know that I was there, on the sidelines with a microphone, rubbing shoulders with personalities from Shaw TV, The Province and The Vancouver Sun.

I know what you're thinking. I’m a hot shot eh! Yeah, ESPN should be calling any minute now.

But I took a lot away from SFU’s 30-1 shellacking over UBC.

First off, UBC’s football program is not looking so hot.

Second of all, being a sideline reporter is more challenging than I thought. Despite wearing my best push-up bra and spending hours on my hair like my girl
Erin Andrews, I found it tough keeping listeners up-to-date with the steady flow of injured bodies lining the T-Birds sideline.

The most challenging part was the post-game interview with UBC’s Head Coach. I now have a new found respect for anyone who has to interview Brian Burke after a five-game losing streak. But that would never happen right Brian, especially to start the season? Right.

To put things into perspective, UBC just lost their sixth straight game to fall to 1-6 on the year. The coach just watched his team man-handled by their biggest rivals. They were embarrassed and humiliated in every way possible. Their season, for all intents and purposes, now a failure. The last thing this coach wanted to do was field questions from some rookie reporter. But there I was with the responsibility of prodding him about the inept play of his football club.

So how did I fare in the media scrum? Well, if it were a rugby scrum I think my team would be struggling for possession. But for the first time, I think I held my own and the CITR boss thought so too.

This Friday I’ll be in the booth as UBC closes out their disappointing season against Manitoba. The next night I will be unleashing my inner Shorthouse with some play-by-play for T-Birds hockey.

A small promotion yes, but a step in the right direction.

Now, if I could only get paid for this.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Awkward Stage...

A couple years ago I had a conversation with my father about relationships. I think it occurred right after one of mine didn't work out. Having divorced my mother, he could relate. He said something to me that I will never forget. The gist of it is as follows:

"Son, you need to understand that you're never going to find a perfect women. No one does. I don't think they exist. What I learned from my first marriage is that you do need to find someone you can withstand living with day in and day out for the rest of your life. She won't be perfect, but she'll be tolerable. If you find that, you'll find a wife."

Talk about a realist.

A week ago my 5YC teammate Chandler wrote a posting entitled, "That's my Quarterback!" Despite disagreeing with most of the post, he caught my attention with one line: "...The best thing about a partner is you don’t really have to like them. Just have to tolerate them." Words of wisdom. Dad thinks so too.

If this were a football game, I'd like to think the 5YC was in their opening drive. Our first podcast was a considerable gain. Maybe a first down. That said, we're not even close to the red zone and there's plenty of game left. And if anyone could join us in the huddle, you'd see emotions are high. At times Chad's thinking pass, I'm thinking run, and all we really want is someone to come in and give us the play. 

Last night we had our first 5YC meeting. We sat in a living room and talked about our feelings. We had expectations for this and for each other and we expressed things openly. As we laid out the next couple of weeks I looked up at Chad sitting across from me and all I could think about was that somehow I managed to get myself into another relationship.  

I think I'm dating Chad. 
The early line is 6-8 months. 
I'll take the under.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


The boys of "The 5 Yard Curl" found themselves in the studio on Thanksgiving Monday, hammering out the premiere podcast from the 5YC. In what was described as "a decent start" to their podcast careers, Chad and Joe touched on an array of insignificant topics setting the bar at a low, yet achievable height.

In what can only be compared to a first date, Chad and Joe weigh in on GM Place seating, Vince Vaughn, Cold Turkey, and Hickeys at Thanksgiving Dinner. Both have decided to see one another again, soon.

As well, the introduction to "Where Are They Now", with guest Andrew Rogers. 

Right click the header to open the Podcast.

Wait...You're saying the Canucks can give the Capitals 15 Million, 5 Draft Picks, and a couple Hordichucks for Ovechkin?

It was the biggest trade in the history of professional sports. A move that would forever blur the line between sports and business.

The classic story of a hero putting a city on his shoulders and lifting it to unimaginable heights, only to have a villain snatch it all away with just one, quick phone call. All of this eventually amounting to an ending that only the lights of Hollywood could handle. Like I said...classic.

So much has been written and said about the Wayne Gretzky trade. Everyone seems to remember where they were on August 9th, 1988. It's like 9/11.  Or the JFK assassination. My Dad tells me I was crawling around the kitchen in my diapers, throwing apple sauce on my bib, trying to keep my large head upright while my undersized neck was screaming for mercy. Yet, for other Canadians August 9th, 1988 will always be the day they heard Canada's favourite son was heading south.

Why do I bring this up?

ESPN has a new series out called "30 for 30". The main think-tank behind the series needs no
introduction. It's a cool idea and I love everything that Bill Simmons does, so I decided to sit down and watch an episode.

But wait. Snap. No Canadian channel is showing the series. Gotta love Canadian T.V.

It all worked out though.  I searched YouTube and found an entire episode. And it just so happened that the Director of this particular story was Peter Berg, the dude that created and produced the Emmy-Award winning television series, "Friday Night Lights". Needless to say, I'm a fan and he's a legend.

His latest stroke of genius is called "Kings Ransom". From me to you.  Enjoy.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Vanilla Milkshake Performs Chris Brown

If you haven't heard, Prime Minister Stephen Harper surprised the National Arts Center last week by singing the Beatles, "With a Little Help From My Friends" alongside world renown cellist, Yo Yo Ma. Watch it here if you don't know what I'm talking about.  

While you can't argue with his talent, you can question his song choice.  How bland does it get Harper? I bet you our Prime Minister prefers plain Cheerios.  And Vanilla milkshakes.  

The only reason this Harper incident sparked my interest was that his warm-up song went completely unnoticed. The guy had his set-list backwards. 

Next time think things through. If you really want my vote spend less time on the '67 Abbey Road Beatles Recording, and more time on the Chris Brown, YouTube sensation that's received over 21 million hits in the last six months.  

Monday, October 12, 2009

His Head's in the Game

Who needs a pre-game speech from the coach when you have Fullback Owen Schmitt on your team.

Ladies and Gentlemen, my new favourite Seahawk.

Do you think somebody was a little fired up? WOW

Friday, October 9, 2009

That's My Quarterback!

Every Batman needs a Robin.
Vinny Chase is nothing without his boy E.
Steve Young depended on Jerry Rice to make the Hall of Fame.

So as I embark on this journey into the Blogosphere world I am happy to have JP along for the ride. Is he the hardest worker? Doubtful. Could I have started the 5YC on my own? Maybe. Would it have been as fun? Well, anyone who knows Joe understands that the big man lives for that three-letter word. So no, it definitely wouldn’t have been as fun.

But the best thing about a partner is you don’t really have to like them. Just have to tolerate them.

And why Joe you ask?

I’ll let T.O. tell you! (20 seconds into the clip)

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Dad, Can we get a TV in the Bathroom?

This is the time of year when your fingers start to get more workouts than your biceps. The curves in your couch begin to reform after surviving another summer without your butt's presence. You start re-perfecting the art of procrastination, just one more inning, just one more period, just one more episode of "So you think you can dan...uhhh..I mean...Entourage.

You eat dinner with Shorty and Garrett, instead of Mom and Dad.

Yes, It's October and that means perhaps the best month of the year for the Tube. The NHL is back on and you still care about your Hockey Pool. The NFL is in full swing and October baseball makes you realize why you watch the sport and why Fenway Park is so special.

Even your favourite T.V. shows are back and making you cry and ask why???

Only April and its crazy ending to March Madness, hockey and basketball playoffs, and season finales can compete with the hours logged in front of the tube in October. 

The only bad part about October if you are student, such as myself, is that as T.V. gets better and more irresistible, so does the workload. Its so unfair. Every game watched is another letter grade lost. And what sucks is that when you have the most free-time, like the Christmas Break, all you are getting on T.V. is a College Football Bowl Game between IshouldplayintheCIS State and I'maDIV5schoolinAlaska Technical.

So my friends enjoy the month ahead, it will fly bye. School and work will always be there, James Duthie wont.

I'm not mad, but he could have asked first...

Last Sunday, I arrived early to my weekly screening of Entourage on HBO.  I didn't mind waiting though.  Not when my present company had on the season premiere of the CBC's "Battle of the Blades".  CBC what?  Battle of the Blades who?  I thought channel 3 only broadcast from 4-10PM on Saturdays.  I was wrong.  For ten minutes I sat and watched in awe as Tie Domi picked off each and every number in my limited dance repertoire:  Index-Finger-Wind-Up - 2:56.  Cocked-Chicken-Wings - 2:59.  Rolling-Hand-Buildup - 3:22.  Pick-up-your-Partner-and-Smile - 3:35. 

He left me empty-handed, drained of every ounce of ammunition I ever had walking into the trenches of the club: the dance floor.  Was I mad?  Not really.  I heard Bob Probert was eliminated.  That's unfortunate.

It all worked out though.  30 minutes later the Big Guy came down and said, "Perkins, cheer up buddy.  Does this make you happy?"

And it did.