Thursday, October 29, 2009
Ten thoughts from a night on the couch
9. The NBA ON TNT…YEESSS…IT’S THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS AGAINST THE BOSTON CELTICS. Ohh how I missed you Marv Albert. I’m the first to admit that I have a legit man crush on that guy’s voice. I didn’t miss the NBA over the summer however. Just can’t invest myself in a league where the players take weeks, if not months off at a time. Wake me up when Lebron and Shaq meet Kobe and Ron in the Finals. However, tonight’s Cavs game has allowed me to confirm what a lot of us have been thinking for a while. Zydrunas Ilgauskas is from Uranus. (I had written Mars originally, but I felt that my friend RJ would like this post more if I wrote Uranus)
8. Big fan of Gerry Dee. I think he’s approaching Cabbie level in terms of humorous sportscasters. The Wisers Whisky commercial that he stars in is pure gold. The sweater rip, the facial expressions, the slow clap. Amazing. I have no idea what Wisers tastes like, probably just like every other rum and coke I sip on at the bar, but they have my allegiance next time I purchase whisky. And it’s all because of you Mr. Dee.
7. Count me in as someone who’s also a big fan of Chris Osgood. The guy just knows how to win. Look no further than the three rings on his fingers for the evidence. He doesn’t have the best form, size or stats, but I’d take him as my starting goa……Wow, that was a weak goal Osgood just let in to start the game….but back to what I was saying. Osgood shows up for big games and his team has so much confide……NO way, that puck actually just went under Osgood’s pad? Did it really? WOW…He’s being yanked after seven minutes and four shots on goal. Mark Donnelly was on the ice longer than Osgood tonight. However, Osgood is still a lock on my 2010 Team Canada squad. Him and Bert.
6. We get a close up of my boy Shane O’Brien. God, that guy is ugly. Looks kind of like Perkins actually. Especially in HD.
Yes, Big C is getting the HD T.V. tonight. Got to love Tuesdays and the Tuesday night Burnaby school board meetings, and the Tuesday night book club gatherings that occupy the parents. Let me tell you, there is nothing better than a heritage home all to yourself when you own absolutely nothing inside of it.
5. Scary moment for anybody whose ever played hockey as Ryan Johnson goes headfirst into the end boards. The one thing that was admirable about the whole thing is Brad May coming to the rescue. Almost immediately after Johnson goes down May’s flippers are off and he’s trying to help out. Now Brad I’m a huge fan of yours, and that was a very classy act, but what were you planning on doing out there with your gloves off? I could be mistaken but I don’t think you have any experience in dealing with neck injuries or concussions.
4. Just ate some popcorn. It’s that crappy bullshit pre-made popcorn though. That fake organic Smart Food crap that comes in the big chips bag. I had to settle for the rubber flavoured, garbage tasting stuff because I am currently on microwavable popcorn probation at my house. It’s truly devastating.
Well, two weeks ago I was watching a T.V. show downstairs and threw in some extra butter popcorn in the microwave. But unfortunately I didn’t look to see that it was one of those smaller, snack size bags. You know, the ones that people eat when they are on diets. Like big people trying to lose weight kind of deal.
Anyways, I threw the snack size bag on for the standard three minutes than rolled back down to my cave. Big mistake! I mean big.
I rolled back up only to have both fire alarms sounding and my whole kitchen hot-boxed with thick burnt popcorn smoke. My kitchen now has a permanently burnt popcorn aroma to it. I tried to justify it to my mom by saying I was doing the family a favour by breaking in the new microwave; kind of like you would do with a new baseball glove or fresh pair of kicks. I believe I said I was “giving it some character.” She strongly thought otherwise and laid down the indefinite suspension on microwave usage. And you thought Colin Campbell was tough on infractions. For the record, I am 23 and I did successfully live on my own in Victoria for five years. Thank you roommates.
3. Ryan Kesler nearly scores the goal of the year (6:35 mark) for the Canucks. I’d do my best play-by-play attempt of the gorgeous rush by Kez but I’ve just started this whole play-by-play thing and I think CIS Women’s hockey players move slightly slower than Kesler. Just an observation, I could be wrong. Regardless, I hate great plays that don’t end up being great goals. It goes for any sport. You know, when a player makes the most amazing play in the world, only to drop the ball in the end zone or miss the wide-open dunk. Everything just goes to waste. I think there needs to be a Sports Center Top Ten of Almost Plays. Something along the line of the best plays that never made the highlights because they were never finished off. However, I guess they wouldn’t really be great plays if they weren’t finished off, would they? I’m confusing myself, but one thing I’m not confused about is TSN needs these weird ideas from me. What they don’t need is another Michael Buble lover from B.C. that spends his spare time between classes talking with girls about the Bachelor. No joke guys, Perkins is like a Bachelor-pedia.
2. The Canucks are unable to score late and fall 5-4 to the Wings. Great game though. Loved the crazy third period. In terms of entertainment, I’ll always take the 5-4 regular season loss to the Wings over a 1-0 snoozing win over the Wild. Also loving the play from the rookie Grabner. I love Euros. Just can’t get enough of the under-producing Euro. I loved Grabs even before he was putting up the numbers. Don’t know why, but if the Canucks have a prospect and he’s Euro, and the media rips him constantly for being inconsistent, he’s a favorite of mine. I just feel like I can relate.
1. Finally, let us compare nights.
• BIG C- A nice, romantic night with the TV; ate tons of food, had some laughs and thoroughly enjoyed myself.
• PERKINS – Hit the elliptical trainer for 40 minutes, got laughed at by community center girls after it took him 20 minutes to figure out how a treadmill worked, went home and ate some carrots.
I may be the underdog and I may not win. But I’m going to have a hell of a lot more fun trying to win than he is.
Posted by Chandler at 2:52 PM